El siglo de la baila

Yesterday evening I came across one of them. A typical member of their species. Baschmauer , 1.83 m, square jaw, numerous neanderthalesque traits. Add to that a jaw-dropping array of hobbies ranging from “Lead singer in a semi professional a-capella band” to dancing rueda de casino and skiing in Switzerland and you’ve got it. A typical specimen of the modern Baschmauer , so desperate to get in touch with females and impress them that he is willing to spend 80% of his free time doing things he most probably doesn’t even enjoy that much – although that particular lucky specimen seemed to do so.

Misanthropy

I dislike

• Spaniards: Because Western and Northern Europeans love them unconditionally.
• Dutch and Northern Europeans because of their superiority complex – which is rather blatantly expressed when they start flaunting their alleged English skills.
• The Italians because of their sleazy “flirtatiousness”.
• South Americans, for the same reason as the Spaniards – Brazilians excluded because they speak Portuguese.
• Chinese, because for some reason they became too many and threaten to take over the world forcing everyone to learn one of the hardest and most dysfunctional writing systems ever made.
• Mechanical Engineers, for the same reason as the Chinese.
• Any combination of the above.

I am neutrally disposed towards : Most native English, French and German speakers ( Brits, Americans, Australians, Germans,  Swiss , Austrians), most speakers of Slavic languages (Russians, Poles, Czechs, Bulgarians, Ukrainians etc ) , the Japs , northern Africans.

BTW, I don’t give a rodent’s rear if you stay on my lawn. It consists  of carbon nanotubes dunked in cheap green paint.

Rigmarole

There is no use in fighting against them. They have been evolving for years, thousands of them, gradually adapting by virtue of trial and error to their surroundings. Forced by their own career choices into an artificial environment acutely characterized by a population imbalance, they had to develop all kinds of imaginable techniques in an attempt to overcome the constraints indirectly imposed on them by societal prejudice. In order of course  for that to happen , immense sacrifices had to be made. Only a small percentage lives through them. Yet, their numbers are so enormous, that at any given moment in time, there exists a subset of them them which fully satisfy the criteria of the incredibly fastidious and over-saturated market. How then can an outsider, who landed inside their lair out of the blue, who has only a tiny idea of what the customs and the mores of their world are, compete with them?  Of course it is interesting to entertain, for a few minutes, napoleonesque thoughts of domination over them. Yet, very soon the sad reality strikes back: they are impossible to fight because what they are doing at this moment, has been in silent and persistent preparation for the entire duration of their lifetime. Their goals have been extremely simple and down to earth and this, combined with excellent backing from family and society bestowed them with deadly efficiency. How on earth can their potential “contender” with his inane daydreaming and unrealistic expectations  antagonize them? The only thing that remains, is to look down in servility and recall the sentences uttered by O’ Brien to Winston Smith in George Orwell’s 1984.

“if you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face — forever”

An “analog” guy in a digital world.

It is one of these rare occasions that my usually  under-performing brain, temporarily fueled by a surge of blood caffeine concentration, manages to put together some actually constructive thoughts. So today I came to realize that I excel in processes which are so to say “elastic” in their input but reliable in their output and that I have a huge problem with processes the input of which has to comply with a very rigid list of specifications. Namely, I invariably seem unable to comply with *all* the specifications/prerequisites . There is always, at least one of them missing which leads to the process which requires them not being executed at all. We could draw a parallel between the first kind of processes and an analog circuit which, within a given range of input signals will produce an interpretable output and another parallel between the second kind processes and a digital circuit which expects very specific “quantized” numeric input in order to perform. Otherwise it produces an “error message”. Unfortunately the majority of “circuits” I am up against in my daily life are digital. And this spells trouble

The eternal sunshine…

of a spotless mind….

I was siting today on my fancy swivel chair in front of my fancy iMac gazing at the Aachen skyline. My office is located on the fourth floor of a renovated Art Deco building from the 1920s. I have an espresso machine and sparkling new “ikea-style” furniture, VoIP telephones and whatnot. But what’s the use of all that dear reader?

All the material possessions and comforts of the world cannot replace what I covet most…her love. And now she is leaving, never to come back, being happy because she is following some….divine plan. Don’t ask me to explain in further detail. The last thing I want is to provoke same crazy “dawkinsian” debate in the comment space of my peaceful and tranquil blog.

Because, dear reader, what matters in such cases is not why the girl refuses but the fact that she refuses per se. When you’ve had such a great time together, when you make each other laugh, when you hold fascinating conversations, when there is such “romantic tension” in the air. And then it all goes to the dogs.  And the pretends that “nothing ever happened” and “of course you can stay friends”. Who needs a friend though when you could have so much more but it was lost somewhere in the “translation”? And then you have your male friends and acquaintances,  nodding condescendingly in indication of “sympathy for your plight” whilst wielding under your nose, at the slightest opportunity, digital cameras and mobile telephones which display photographic “proof” of their allegedly wonderful relationships. Ah, its such a pity that they could make it while you couldn’t. Was it luck? Naaah…you know….it’s always a combination of luck and skill they say, with their winking eye conveying as much innuendo as it can without crushing the eyeball beyond repair. It is as if people got into relationships just to show off to others how cool they are and not because they found a person to love and with whom to share as many beautiful moments as possible.

Of course I am not the first to make this observation. Innumerable such comments have been made since the emergence of the first embittered, hapless guy who was turned down by a girl. Their value is purely the one of “emotional discharge”, nothing else. The reason is that such a ludicrous juxtaposition  “Ha! you loser did not make it while I did!” makes no sense whatsoever.  How on earth can you compare two different guys approaching different girls under different circumstances? Ok, there exist of course the cases of guys that know each other and that hit on the same girl but I suspect they do not occur that often .   Of course these are all details, overshadowed by the insatiable appetite that people have for identifying themselves as the “alpha” male in contrast to all the miserable “beta”, “gamma”, “delta”and… “omega” males out there.

So this is my call to all you hapless guys out there: Stand up ! Disregard all the “perambulating suitors” who flaunt their successes. The fact that they “score” x% more often than you do does not make them any better as persons. Believe in  yourselves, actualize your potential and success – however you define it- is bound to come. And remember that in the end of the day, one minute of “quality relationship time” is better than a 100 hours of exhibitionist “public demonstration of affection”.

Yeah, I begin to sound like a “male spinster”.  So what? Now get off my lawn!

Zis leuv of mijn…(a semi failed transcript of …frenglish accent)

This love of mine goes on and on,
Tho’ life is empty since you have gone.
You’re always on my mind, tho’ out of sight
It’s lonesome thru the day,
But oh! the night.

I cry my heart out it’s bound to break,
Since nothing matters, let it break.
I ask the sun and the moon,
The stars that shine,
What’s to become of it, this love of mine.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNLD8hOZjQw

 

Protected: Why I hate Hollywood

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Protected: The audition

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Dear new readers of this blog – I am certain that none of the “old ones” are still reading – , as the extremely sparse postings of the past months have shown, I’ve been going through a severe writer’s block. Nevertheless, a decisive event has come to give me new ado to write: After a gazillion years of planning and daydreaming, I have managed to move to good ole’ Germanland
,
the Country That Started It All (TM). My “migration” started with a wonderful welcome by two old friends at the KölnBonn Airport, complete with “paparazzo” flash and a professional microphone connected to a venerable minidisc recorder in order to record my first comments upon my arrival.

Like the last time, I invested in the familiar Federal State of Nordrhein-Westfallen although on this iteration of my adventures in Germany I decided to move westwards, to the infamous Aachen, also known under such fancy names as Aix-la-Chapelle – where “Chapelle” is not derived from this but from this – , Aken , die Maschbauerstadt, die Stadt-wo-es-keine-Frauen-gibt etc. At first sight, it looks like an ordinary German city and it is in many aspects which per se has no negative connotations whatsoever. In reality however it is not so ordinary.
First of all, it has the unique attribute of being placed exactly at the border of the netherlands, germany and belgium, three countries which share many cultural similarities and a currency yet still remain *separate entities*. This gives Aachen a unique “international” flair manifested through such small “details” as the half of all the cars having dutch number plates, almost all road signs having special “descriptors” which notify the unsuspecting traveler about the country which each destination belongs to and many others. All this fills me with enormous joy – read this and you will (probably) understand why.
Apart from that, the area is laden with a historical legacy ranging from the infamous Cathedral, to the trenches of WW1 and the battles of WW2. This morning at the hotel I even had the chance of meeting the (proverbial) american tourists who were part of a special themed tour , organised by a military historian.
Another fascinating observation is the continuing “obsession” of the Germans with French-derived puns using the names of their cities. When I was in Bonn, I felt bombarded by such kitschy puns as “Bonnjour”, “Bonn-sai” and “Bonn-Appetit”. Now is the turn of “Aixcellent”, “Aixcentrique” and “Aixtreme” to saturate my retina. I should soon be back with more.

…Groetjes…! (NL)

Socratis says:

λοιπον φιλε

Socratis says:

ακου ονειρο που ειδα

Socratis says:

να κουφαθεις

Socratis says:

ετος 2008

Socratis says:

η γη βγηκε απο την τροχια της

Socratis says:

και προκειται να συγκρουστει με το φεγγαρι

Dimitris says:

Socratis says:

μια επιλεκτη ομαδα 4 επιστημόνων

Socratis says:

προσλαμβάνονται απο την κυβέρνηση αλέξη τσίπρα

Dimitris says:

*-)

Socratis says:

για να κάνουν ρεπορταζ

Socratis says:

ποσο καλα η κυβέρνηση χειρίζεται την κρίση

Socratis says:

οι επιστημονες ειναι

Socratis says:

Σωκρατης – Πληροφορικη

Socratis says:

Γιώργος – Βιολογικό

Socratis says:

Δημήτρης – Φυσικη

Socratis says:

Αννα – Ιατρική

Socratis says:

ειμαστε αραγμένοι σε μια καλυβα στη μεση του πουθενά

Socratis says:

και κάνουμε μετρήσεις

Socratis says:

οταν εσυ ερχεσαι

Dimitris says:

(uhh)

Socratis says:

και λες φρικαρισμένος

Socratis says:

‘μαλάκες .. δεν γίνεται τιποτα..θα πέσουμε πάνω..’

Socratis says:

απο μακρια βλέπουμε τη σελίνη να μεγεθύνεται

Socratis says:

ολοενα και περισσότερο

Socratis says:

εκει που πιστεύουμε οτι θα σκοτωθούμε ολοι

Socratis says:

αρχιζουμε και ξανααπομακρυνόμαστε

Socratis says:

γιατι ομως;

Socratis says:

γιατι φιλε

Socratis says:

η κυβέρνηση εχει προσαρμόσει

Socratis says:

εναν τεράστιο ιμάντα απο καουτσουκ

Dimitris says:

!!!!!!!!!!

Socratis says:

στο σημειο πρόσκρουσης

Socratis says:

και η γη..κάνει γκελ πάνω στη σελήνη

Socratis says:

και γλιτώνουμε

Dimitris says:

(haha)

Dimitris says:

η με δουλεύεις

Socratis says:

ενω παράλληλα προσπαθουμε να αποφασίσουμε

Socratis says:

ποσο έγκυρα

Dimitris says:

ή το hollywood έχει αλλοτριώσει το καλλιτεχνικο σου υποσυνείδητο

Socratis says:

θα καλύψουμε το θεμα

Socratis says:

γιατι

Socratis says:

μας δινουν λεφτά για να υπερβάλλουμε

Socratis says:

Dimitris says:

στην οποία περίπτωση σου συνιστώ 15 ώρες θεραπεία με ταινίες Κισλόφσκυ

Dimitris says:

(haha)

Socratis says:

μαλακα

Socratis says:

θα σαρώσει τις χρυσές αθηνες

Socratis says:

η ταινια

Socratis says:

δεν μπορεις να πεις

Socratis says:

τα έχει ολα..

Dimitris says:

απλώς υποκλίνομαι..αν βγάζεις τέτοια σενάρια στον ύπνο σου

Dimitris says:

σκέψου τι μπορείς να κάνεις ξύπνιος

Dimitris says:

xax

Socratis says:

λεω να παρω τηλ τον τσιπρα

Socratis says:

και να το προτείνω

Dimitris says:

katse mou erxetai orama

Socratis says:

FOUR SCIENTISTS

Socratis says:

ONE GOAL

Dimitris says:

Η Cheap-R-Ass productions παρουσιάζει

Socratis says:

ONE SOCIAL STATE

Socratis says:

xaxxaxxax

Dimitris says:

Την υπερπαραγωγή των 8 ηπείρων και των δέκα θαλασσών (τόσες θα γίνουν αμα συγκρουστει η σεληνη με τη γή)

Dimitris says:

Τον Don Lafontaine θα τον βάλουμε να παίζει τον πατέρα του Τσίπρα

Socratis says:

ela

Socratis says:

με πέταξε εξω

Socratis says:

ο Ντον

Socratis says:

θα ειναι ο αλκολικός πατέρας

Socratis says:

του Τσίπρα

Socratis says:

που θα υποστηρίζει οτι το φεγγάρι

Socratis says:

εχει καταστραφεί

Dimitris says:

(haha)

Socratis says:

εδω και χρονια απο τους αμερικάνους

Socratis says:

και όλα αυτα ειναι κυβ. προπαγάνδα

Socratis says:

τον έχει κλειδωμένο σε ένα σουβλατζίδικο

Dimitris says:

(haha)

Socratis says:

στην εθνική

Socratis says:

και τον επισκέπτεται σπάνια

Dimitris says:

Δίπλα στο σουβλατζίδικο θα έχει καντίνα ο Τζόι Τριμπιάνι

Dimitris says:

που παράτησε την επιτυχημένη του καριέρα ως ηθοποιός

Dimitris says:

και ήρθε να ζήσει το όνειρο

Dimitris says:

στο Γκρης αντερ αλέξης τσίπρας- Δε νιου λαντ οφ οπορτιουνιτυ

Socratis says:

το ΣοΚΕλ του τσίπρα

Socratis says:

έχει σκληρη πολιτική ομως

Socratis says:

ΣοΚΕλ = Σοσιαλιστικο Κόμμα Ελλάδας

Socratis says:

εχεις διαβάσει το 1984;

Dimitris says:

HAHAHAHHAAAHHA

Dimitris says:

nai nai

Dimitris says:

IngSoc

Dimitris says:

doxa kai timi

Dimitris says:

h idea pantws gia mia parwdia tou 1984

Dimitris says:

me ton alexi tsipra

Dimitris says:

kai ellada

Dimitris says:

me psinei TRELA

Dimitris says:

apo to vrady arxizw to brainstorming

Dimitris says:

xax

Socratis says:

χαχαχαχα

Socratis says:

βάλε και τον μπάμπη μεσα

Socratis says:

Socratis says:

και τελικά

Socratis says:

ο ήρωας

Socratis says:

θα πηγαίνει σε κάτι φυλακες

Socratis says:

του ΣοΚΕλ

Socratis says:

και θα μαθαίνει ολη την αληθεια

Socratis says:

απο εναν φυλακισμένο:

Socratis says:

Την Χελωνα Του Δαρβίνου

Socratis says:

που ηταν ψέμματα οτι πέθανε

Socratis says:

ειναι η μονη που ξέρει ολη την αληθεια

Socratis says:

γιατι ζει χρονια

Socratis says:

ενω καθε φορα

Socratis says:

η ιστορια αναπροσαρμόζεται

Socratis says:

απο το κόμμα

Dimitris says:

pw pw pw

Dimitris says:

mlk

Dimitris says:

γιου αρ ε φακιν τζινιους

Dimitris says:

χελώνα δαρβίνου + μπάμπης + τσίπρας = συνταγή για το άλτιμεητ μπεστ σελλερ

Dimitris says:

θα ΕΞΑΤΜΙΣΟΥΜΕ τον νταν μπράουν

Socratis says:

ντιν-νταν-ντον μπράουν

Socratis says:

‘Το τσίπουρο του Τσίπρα’

Socratis says:

το νέο βιβλίο απο τις εκδόσεις ‘Ποπολυπλεξία’

Dimitris says:

(crest)

Dimitris says:

και σε αυτο θα βασιστεί το γκραφικ νόβελ “Τσι for Τσίπρας”

Socratis says:

στην ταινια θα εχει μουσικη

Socratis says:

απο τους Ρεντ Χοτ Τσίπρας Πέπερς